The Amazing Story of A Sufi Woman

For those who may need a new dose of inspiration in their spiritual life, just drop by this site of a book manuscript on the life of a living sufi woman in Syria. It is an amazing story of sufi dreams and what absolute faith in God can do to a person. I keep reading her stories hopefully to get a sprinkling of her spiritual strength in the face of life's trials. Below is an excerpt of one of her stories:

My mother-in-law, may God have mercy on her (she had passed away by the time this interview took place) told me one day ‘You and my son must leave this house. You don’t have the money to pay for it.’ This house was the property of my husband’s father and there were six sons and four daughters. Each one wanted to take his or her inheritance portion after selling the property. The boy takes two parts and the girl takes one. This is the way inheritance is. It would be haram to go against this. She told me ‘Either you give me 450,000 lira (Syrian pounds) in ten days or you have to be out of the house. It’s not right that you stay here while the others have nothing of the house.’ [This equaled about US $10,000 at the time. It might seem like a modest sum for an apartment with three bedrooms, but it is not in an expensive part of the city. In any case, it was an enormous amount for Amat al-Latif, who lives on her husband’s meager salary as an instructor in Islamic religion at a government secondary school.] This is the Shari’ah. She was right; it would be haram to go against this. I told her ‘Please don’t be angry with me’ and I kissed her hands. She was crying and I was crying too. I told her, ‘My faith in God Most High is strong and if He wills, I will find the money to pay for the house.’ ‘How on earth will you do this?’ she asked me, ‘You have nothing (brought no wealth into the marriage), and your husband has no resources to pay. Where will he get this money from?’ I said, ‘God, may He be glorified, is the true possessor of all wealth. His treasury is vast. Four hundred and fifty thousand lira – that is nothing to Him! He will give it to me. He is Generous.’ ‘Fine,’ she said, and she went out to go home to her own house. That night I didn’t tell my husband anything about what had happened between his mother and me. So that night I stayed up after ten o’clock and prayed two cycles of prayer for God Most High, I took hold of my masbahah (prayer beads), and I recited the Fatihah one hundred times. I said, ‘Oh God, by the secret of the Fatihah, Oh Most Merciful, Oh Most Compassionate, You are the One Who created me. I am now grown old, a woman of forty years with ten children. I am in a desperate state. I am powerless, Allah! You are the One Who Conceals, the One Who brought into being the heavens and the earth. I want nothing of this world but that if you let me live the next ten days that I be allowed to stay in the house I have lived in, not to be thrown out. Oh Allah. By Your Prophet and his daughter Fatima, grant me the 450,000 lira.’ So I started to weep and pray for peace and blessings on the Prophet and plead with God. And I stayed this way until the dawn prayer, weeping and praying on my prayer carpet. I slept for a moment sitting up but I didn’t lie down one minute.....

To read the whole book manuscript by Barbara von Schlegell.

Easy Way to Edit Your Blog in Ms Word

Okay, after struggling (this word keep coming up time and again) for so long, Blogger has come out with the software to allow us to edit our post in Ms Word (free Blogger for Word add-on). Wow, just what I need as I use Ms Word a lot. It is so much faster for me now that I can edit so easily. Hmm...no more excuse for not posting I guess ???

Suicide Killings - The Path to Spiritual Heavenly Bliss or Road to Eternal Damnation ? (Final Part)

(This is the final part of my thoughts on this subject. Too long as usual and nearly never have made to the print.)

The Signs of Times

A week ago, I heard and read the news of another suicide bombing in Iraq which killed about 100 people. There seems to be no end in sight for these deadly killings, especially in Iraq, The tragic deaths and more before them have added chaos, tragedy and a sense of insanity in this world. These are indeed troubling and dark times. I remembered the words of my teacher during a discourse not too long ago, these are the clearest of signs that the "ends of days" are "as near as ever"(only God knows exactly when it will happen). The lives of man have become so worthless and easy to dispose of. People have little regard for the sanctity of life. They blinded themselves from seeing the divine source in each person that God created. They failed to hearken the Words of God:

"Do not take life which God has made sacred".

Is suicide-bombing then an act of self-sacrifice as claimed by those who support it ? Or is it a heinous act that will condemn the soul to eternal purgatory ? I am no imam that can issue a fatwa nor a religiously trained jurist to dissect any legal shariah basis on the matter. These are merely reflections of a heart. The result of a contemplative soul that yearns some answers.

Suicide - A Descent to Absolute Hopelessness

"And do not kill yourselves. Surely, Allah is Most Merciful to you." He said.

Killing oneself is therefore an abominable sin and clearly forbidden. Even though in recent times, suicide has become a celebrated act, no man of faith doubts it will incur the Wrath of God.

The "experts" in human psychology claimed that the phenomenon of suicide is complex. People kill themselves for a variety of reasons - financial problems, relationship breakdown, loss of loved ones, etc. Except for those who maybe "biologically psychotic", many of those who killed themselves are besieged by a perception that he or she is incapable of working out issues and hold on to a misguided belief that disappearing from the face of the earth is the panacea to all their worldly problems. This perception is usually followed by a state of extreme depression or overwhelming rage before the person descends to the lowest level of human irrationality and kills himself. It is therefore a failure to face head on to life's trials and tribulations. Suicide provides a convenient escape route for all of one's obligations. My teacher told us man by nature will always find excuses for relieving himself of his obligations. Even in the Days of Judgment, the soul will do likewise in the face of his sins before God. The soul would say "How can I truly worship or glorify You, O Lord, when I faced so many trials and tribulations during my earthly existence ?" So God called upon His beloved Prophet Job as testimony. "Look at Job. He was once a wealthy and healthy person before the evil one challenged Me to try him with the worst of tribulations to test the strength of his faith in Me. Job lost everything - his family, wealth and health. Yet he remained patient and steadfast in his faith. How then can you compare your trials and tribulations with his ?"

From The Anti-Thesis of Patience to Greatest Sin

The person who commits suicide also represents the very anti-thesis of a man of patience. The virtue of patience in him is missing. Patience in the midst of adversity. To further remain patient in the face onslaught of trials and tribulations. As a sufi used to say, “To be patient with patience.” The Prophet himself epitomised the highest rank in the station of patience. Throughout his entire life, he manifested patience and composure despite the enormity of problems, even when his life was in danger. My teacher said that a sufi achieves the station of patience(sabr) by virtue of their esteemed knowledge that God "manages everything including his affairs" - Entrust your affairs in the Hands of the One that Manages all affairs and everything will take its course and pass. There will be a solution to all your problems. That is the real meaning of total submission and surrender. But if you choose to "seize control" and believe that you alone can handle your affairs, then God will leave that to you and that is when you will be afflicted by your troubles.

As one who denies the Grace of God, the person who commits suicide has succumbed to the gravest and subtlest of sins, shirik. And shirik is the most terrible of sins and remain unforgiven unless one sincerely and truly repents. Remember what the Prophet saw said "Shirik among you(Muslims) is more subtle than the sound of the footsteps of an ant on a rock." So what is the reward for shirik ? Eternal damnation and denial of God's Grace and Mercy in the afterlife when every soul is in need of the Only Sovereign Lord(al-Malik) who is Al-Mani'(The Protector & Preventor of Harm). The souls of those who commit suicide will suffer damnation during barzakh, a realm before our final return to Him.. Once my teacher told us of a story where a sufi met such unfortunate soul roaming back to the “place” where she died. He spoke of how the soul lived in a state of torment - long unkempt hair, eyes reddened by continuous cries of regret for her last forbidden earthly act. When he asked her what happened, she said "I had committed suicide". She begged the sufi to pray for God's forgiveness for her. But the sufi said that he could not help her as her act represented the highest denial of God's Existence, His Grace & Love. She must wait for the Day of Judgement to seek His Presence & Mercy.

A Call of Martyrdom or A Death Warrant to Eternal Purgatory ?

What about those who claim that their suicide killings are acts of martyrdom for a noble cause ? Fighting for the rights and protection of the religion ?

But did they not hear what God has said:

"And fight in the way of Allah those who fight you. But do not transgress the limits. Truly Allah loves not the transgressors"

How can one not transgress by self-inflicting injuries and destructions ? How can one not transgress by the killing of innocent civilians including women and children ? How can one not transgress by killing fellow Muslims, who profess the kalimah, “There is no god but Allah” ? How can one not transgress by the destruction of property and animals ? What if those Muslims were their mothers, sisters or wives ?

You do not fight in the way of God by killing yourself. Explosive strapped to the body are obviously intended to kill oneself. So clearly, this cannot be the way of jihad, for even the Prophet and His Companions when engaged in war, they used weapons which were not self-destructing to themselves. When there is wisdom in retreating than engaged in suicidal attacks, they did likewise during the battle of Uhud. When the Prophet knew the odds of the battle was stake against the Muslims, he led the withdrawal of the remaining Muslim warriors to Mount Uhud. He did not engage or encourage his Companions to commit “hara-kiri”.

When the targets of the suicide-killing are innocent civilians, it is invitation to the second cause for damnation. We know that one carries the burdens on those who we sin against. How can we face God’s Wrath when all of those souls whose bodies we killed on this earth, ask for restitutions before God ? How misguided have we become. Worse are those who preach this killing to others as “jihad”. How can they create falsehood in the name of God ? For God says “cursed are those who create falsehood to the words of God”. Surely these preachers are misguided. They will certainly be accountable far greater measure. My teacher used to say that the preacher carries the sins of those under him who were misguided by his teachings. So, if one cannot even imagine the burden of one own sins how could we even fathom the sins of others!

The Story of Prophet Abraham and the unbeliever

What about justification for suicide killings of non-muslims ? My teacher used to remind us again and again of the story of the Prophet Abraham when he refused to give food to an old man who was an unbeliever. Abraham was rebuked by God who said that even He did not stop giving the old man his provisions all those 70 years despite of him disbelieving God. Why then must Abraham deny him food for a day just because of his faith ? If this is how God wants to teach us on how to behave towards others of different spiritual paths with regard to such small matter of provisions, what more with regard to the life itself that He created ? How could we “take away” the lives of others just because they follow a different spiritual path ?

Absolute Faith in God is the Only Beacon of Light

Many of us feel dismayed by this – the war, the terrorist bombing, the plight of the Muslims. But I urged that we keep our absolute faith in God. We must continue to reach God and believe in Him. He is our only Protector. We need to spread the teaching of love and peace that Islam is rich in. The Prophet was delivered to us to spread mercy not hatred. All of us must return to God. Remember why we were created. Seek the divine light within us. Learn from preachers that teaches more than just “the Hell-fire and Garden of Eden” or the “Rewards and Punishment”. Discover the true teacher that spread the message of love and self-knowledge. Eventually we will see the Truth. Insha’allah, God Willing.

The entire book "A History of Muslim Philosophy" online

I've been wanting to purchase the original copious book on the whole history of Islamic philosophy by Prof Sharif ever since I bought the Malay translation seven years ago. Although I have yet to complete reading the entire book, I find that it is the most comprehensive discussion on the development of philosophy in the Islamic world. A very good resource for those interested in the subject. The original English version is available online.

Suicide Killings - The Path to Spiritual Heavenly Bliss or Road to Eternal Damnation ? (Part 2)

As I drive this morning, thinking and trying to understand this phenomenon of suicide bombing in exchange of martyrdom, I was struck by a sufic story. The story goes like this.

Once in a village, there lived a peaceful group of people. They were God-fearing men and women among them. Then one day the village was struck by a mysterious infectious disease. Those who were struck by this disease suffered great pain. The disease was so severe and debilitating that some infected villagers would eventually die from it.

To add to the villagers' misery, they were unable to get access to modern health services to treat them. Therefore, they had to rely on traditional medicine and naturally look to the village's medicine man for help. The medicine man, who has some knowledge on the use of herbs to treat sickness, could not find a remedy to cure this disease. As days past by, more and more villagers were struck by the disease and some fatally succumbed to it.

Then one day one of the villagers heard that a similar disease had struck another village. In that village, what eventually happened was that one of the villagers had decided to eat a posionous herb thinking that it could relieve, if not cure him, of the disease. It appeared that the poisonous herb managed to aleviate the pain and suffering but the man later died because of the poison. Upon his death, one of the village folk then hailed the man as someone who had sacrifice himself and done a "great deed for the village". This is because besides relieving his pain and suffering from the disease, he also prevented further spread of the disease to others by killing himself.

After hearing this story, the man told some of his village people. A debate occured among some of them. There were those who questioned whether they were allowed to carry out such self-sacrifice act just to end the suffering. Others decided that circumstances left them with no other choice. Finally, to resolve the matter, they decide to seek the opinion of the medicine man.

The medicine man said,"The question is why do we seek to ape the actions of others even if it provide temporary relief from our suffering but brings certain death to us and others. Are we not to seek patience with God for all trials and tribulations ? Yes, we must continue to struggle to seek a cure for this sickness for all diseases has a remedy. But should we, in our haste, look for one that will cause destruction to ourselves or others ?."

Suicide Killings - The Path to Spiritual Heavenly Bliss or Road to Eternal Damnation ? (Part 1)

This is my first write-up in this blog after almost two months. Since then many things have happened - my wife had her miscarriage, my whole office nearly got moved out of it present premises, later this week I will begin to shift into a new house and London was bombed by terrorists.

This piece of writing first developed after I heard over BBC radio a documentary on the London bombings last July. In that radio broadcast, survivors of the bombings described their horrific experiences of that tragic day. One of them spoke of how the entire thing happened so fast. First, they heard a loud thunderous bang. Then darkness descended the whole carriage. Dust and smell of engine smoke filled the air. It was all so surreal. Another spoke about it like "a baby who has just fallen". Everyone was stunned and silent before the cries and shoutings started moments later.

I was trying to imagine the whole scene. A deep sense of fear and helplessness crept through my veins and bones. The chaotic atmosphere and panic-strickened people flashed across my mind. I was trying to remember similar scenes captured many times on TV of suicide killings in the Middle-East. Once again the lowest, most base and savage of humanity has descended upon us in the worst form of tragedy - an act of babarism that is so revolting and reviling that human reason fails to comprehend.

For me what is most disheartening was when it was alleged that the suicide bombers in London were "Muslims" - radicalised by the idea that theirs were acts of martyrdom. What if they were wrong ? What if instead, their souls were burdened with a grave sin ? How can they appear before God with the sins in their hands ? Whatever it is, we the living Muslims are paying the price. We have become the centre of attention for the wrong reasons. Islam is again put in the media spotlight - from the print media to internet blogs and chatrooms. Islamic terrorists. Muslim extremist. Islam, the religion of hatred. Islam, an evil idealogy. The usual hurls of intolerant and abusive diatribes. Like after 9/11, there were reprisals against mosques and harrassments on individual Muslims. Fortunately there are still decent people out there who believe that this small minority of Muslims do not represent the entire community or "true" Islam.

Why have we crumbled into this state ? There are many arguments put forward on the reasons for the radicalism of disaffected Muslim youths among political commentators as there are many conspiracy theories among disbelieving Muslims. Islamic scholars from both divide, Sunnis and Shias alike, have indulged in theological debates or issued fatwa for or against suicide bombings. There are cries of equal justice for the numerous deaths of civilians in Afghanistan, Palestine or Iraq.

My thoughts here, may add to the whole polemical debates on suicide killings. But that is not my real intention. Like many life riddles, I just wanted to seek peace within my heart. Is the Islam I know and cherished the same as those "killers" ? Would the Prophet I love, had approved of these "acts of martyrdom" ? Would God that I worship "commanded us to kill the kafirs(unbelievers) wherever we can find them" and grant them martyrdom for their murders ? As I pondered the answers to these intriguing questions, I began to remember the story of the creation of Prophet Adam.

Remember when your Lord said to the angels:"Verily, I am going to place mankind
generations after generations on earth. They said" "Will You place therein those who
will make mischief therein and shed blood, while we glorify You with praises and thanks
(exalted be You above all that they associate with You as partners) and sanctify You."
Allah said: "I know that which you do not."

Why I have not posted anything this last month

It has been a month since I lasted posted in my blog. Actually a lot of things have happened during this time. Events which I could published. However, due to lack of time and the nature of some of these incidents have consumed much of my spiritual and mental strength, that I have decided to let it pass.

In between, I have been doing a little bit Qu'ran reading(some random verses read and the meanings deeply reflected). Most of the time, I have been trying to catch up reading other blogs like SAF Space, Living Tradition and Light of Eminence and Sufism, etc. Insha'allah I will try to post some of the important incidents of the past one month with a view to seek strength and guidance from God, Himself.

Sublime Revelations by Shaikh Abdul Qadir Al-Jailani

Last night I read this beautiful line from a discourse by Shaikh Abdul Qadir Al-Jailani(in his book Sublime Revelations)::

Fly to Thy Lord(most Glorious Is He) with the wings of the Book and Sunna.

It reminded us on the need to hold on strongly to the teachings of the Qur'an and the Traditions of the Prophet in our pursuit of God. Do not abandon them lest our pursuit of God will be in vain.

Premature Blogging Burnout & Its Spiritual Counterpart

It has only been 2 weeks, and yet I am struggling with my postings already. I have deleted two posts today. Partly because I was interrupted and lost the momentum in the ideas. I have kept the other topic in my pc and may complete the posting in future as it got too long.

Whatever it is I am beginning to feel fatigue - in trying to get the ideas formed out and laid down correctly in this post. Is it a case of waning interest ? Am I getting sluggish and refuse to get out of my comfort zone ? Just too plain busy ? I think I am beginning to show signs of what is known as blogging burnout. In trying to further understand this syndrome, I went deep and far into the cyberworld..okay just Googling the words "blogging burnout". It gave me 41,000 results. So it is a common and universal infection that bugs bloggers the whole wide cyberworld. At least I know I'm not alone. But then.... only within 2 weeks, that must be a record somewhat.

One thing I realise is that I jumped onto this blogging band-wagon a bit too rush. I mean maybe I should have read those tips on good blogging, how to blog effectively, how to sustain the moment, etc. ( Okay I found a good article on how to avoid blogging burnout from ezine@rticles.)

But on hindsight I think it did me some good. At least it forces me to explore the internet for some good stuff and in the process discover things which I would never have got if I am not in this situation. The other thing is that it gets me into thinking about a similar syndrome which I term as "spiritual burnout". A few weeks back, a collegue of mine posed this question to me during one of our lunch conversations,"How could we sustain our spiritual state of awaken ?". She said that for her it is quite hard(she comes from a different spiritual culture and faith). I must say that like good things it takes greater discipline to maintain a momentum of activities after we begin doing them.

Looking at my ownself, at times I feel like I've reached a stage of plateau in my spiritual journey. This is when I feel that I could do with that extra boost of "spiritual hormones" to continue with the prayers, contemplation and meditation. If not, all those exercises are in danger of becoming a habit forming practices i.e. you perform them because that is what you have been doing all this time! My teacher has warned us of this syndrome. Or worse, the idea of going down the path of the dark side maybe tempting. It will come slowly and subtly. Okay just do the required prayers, no need to do the optional ones, you are just tired -whispers the evil ones into my ears. You are tempted to indulge into backbiting, gossiping .... astghafirullah(may God forigve my sins)! I also remembered the words spoken by the Prophet (peace be upon him) which has the following message - the heart of man is a constant battleground between the angelic voices and the evil whisperings of the devil.

It is at this point of the burnout stage that I need some external push - get that good advice or counsel. For the blogging burnout - a hunt of good articles from an internet search to delve into while reading the books written by sufi masters would provide that much needed inspiration for my spiritual journey.

O Lord! Please help me to hold steadfast to the rope of Your Religion. Fill my heart with Your Pure Light of Love and Embrace me in Your Most Bountiful Grace.